Pump Up The Jam...........

I'm totally and undoubtedly a heels girl. Its just the way I am...since I got my very first pair of high heels aged about 14 (from Ravel in Kingston, blue, denim, heeled ankle boots with a slight platform...I was smitten..) I've always been all about the heel, generally speaking, the higher the better. But something has happened to me recently which has spun me off my axis ever so slightly, something which I never thought would ever happen to me....I am beginning to go a bit gaga over....pumps.

And not just pumps. Flatties, sandals, daps....call them what you will, they're here in all shape, colour and size, and are available in one heel height....flat. Now, these are epic if you happen to be uber tall (Bea from Big Brother, Erin O'Connor, etc...perfect) but if you are a little on the titchy side, they can be tricky to wear without appearing stumpefied. If you are a diddy squib, I recommend ballet pumps with skinny jeans, and gladiators with supershort shorts or skirts, to keep your height/width balance in check.

Maybe all this has come about as a rebellion to the extreme heel of the moment. Seriously. My friend Charlotte has a super pair of incredible foot furniture....blue suede, multiple straps, spindly of heel and hugely high of platform...and they make her look like some kind of goddess fashionista from the planet Style. I tried them on, you know, out of curiosity, and, well, lets just say, I didn't realise that shoes could induce vertigo. Perhaps this is just because I'm small to start with, so the added height went to my head too quickly. Or perhaps they just brought on a dose of altitude sickness? Who can tell. All I know is, I was glad to come back down to earth, and that's not like me at all. I pride myself on never having been beaten by a shoe (Except one pair of metallic Terry De Havilland wedges, and thats because I have small feet so its like walking on the surface area equivalent of a postage stamp. Tricky, to say the least.) But, it would seem, that, for me, at least at the moment, the extreme heel has had it's day. Sad. But I shall, I'm sure, be back to brave them again at somepoint.

But I digress. Pumps. Yes. I'm loving the freedom that comes from a flattie. You can run quicker than you can in heels, which is always a bonus, and my diminished stature means I can sneak into queues unnoticed, and carry on ducking and diving throughout my day. Fun. I miss the confidence that heels give me though...there is something vaguely depressing at looking shoe-wards to find a flat foot. And the heel is the unsung champion of inclement weather-bashing....pumps let in water, by dint of their proximity to the floor. Sling on a platform heel and hey presto, you've practically got puddle-stilts going on. Winner.

My flat shoe of the moment is a plain little thing which has just replaced my gladiator sandals (god love them, but I cannot be doing with the alternating tan lines/soggy trenchfoot that they so lovingly bring) They're little woven loafers which I'm pretty certain actually belonged to a granny at some stage, so unfashionably comfortable as they are. They're tan (or were, until I mistakenly wore them to a festival (yes, massive, MASSIVE error in fashion judgement, there was even pointing and laughing...great. I was going to write something in my defense about not knowing I was going to the festival until the last minute but actually, there just is no defending this crime, and I would be sure to joining the pointing and laughing at a certain loser in leather loafers in the middle of a muddy field, had I been correctly shod in wellingtons.) Anyway, now, along with my toes, they are stained a dirty kind of brown, (which is why I've failed to supply you with a picture) but I love them anyway, and they look a treat with harem trousers or, my new favourite trousers, superskinny grey ankle-zipped treggings (trouser/leggings, for those of you out of the loop.)

There is no denying the fabness of a flattie. I even like my grey, Primark £2 plimsoles, which are mocked for looking like kid's school shoes, but, dammit, I think they're kicky and quite cute. And they cost me 2 whole quid so I'm not even going to split hairs about it, they're a keeper. However, all this flat-shoe worship has sent me into a little tailspin because now I'm missing the boost of a decent heel. So when all is said and done, I'll agree that a flat shoe has its place, and its moment...hell, it's having that right now....but actually, I really would quite like to stand tough (and tall) in my favourite superhigh high high heels. Who's laughing now?
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